Bomb Iraq

Din categoria LOL but TRUE…

1. A quick song by John Robbins

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi,
And your alibi is shoddy,
And your tastes remain quite gaudy,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think that SUVs,
Are the best thing since sliced cheese,
And your father you must please,
Bomb Iraq.

If the globe is quickly warming, bomb Iraq.
If the poor will soon be storming, bomb Iraq.
We assert that might makes right,
Burning oil is a delight,
For the empire we will fight,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someones dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Lets look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

If corporate fraud is growin, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that aint easy,
And your manhoods getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might now knows no borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? Well call it treason,
Its the make war not love season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

So, if man kind stop having big cocks, bomb Iraq.

2. Let’s talk about politics…how about the “explained for dumb people” version? :3

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..

Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

A American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

A German Corporation: You have 2 cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British Corporation: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Russian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your ass. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…….

Counter Culture: ‘Wow, dig it, like there’s these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!’

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows…

Hong Kong Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk back to the listed company and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

An Arkansas Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

An Indian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You worship them.

An Australian Corporation: You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go down the pub to celebrate.

Sunt de acord cu Arkansas‘ii, ca doar (speaking of coincidences) au capitala Little Rock. ^_^

3. Si pentru cei care stiu faza cu the Tapes (pentru cei care nu stiu: if u ever ged laid or smth, va filmati, imi dati casetele, eu le vand si va dau 10 % din profit…as in c’mon, do u have any idea cati bani se fac din chestiile astea??? ), cred ca e momentul sa va arat de unde mi’ar fi putut veni ideea…

Purely in the interests of curiosity, I have replaced the word “wand” with “cock” in a couple of the harry potter Books

Let’s see the results…

“Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked harry.
“Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me cock in half an’ everything

A magic cock… this was what harry had been really looking forward to.

“Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. harry potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first cock. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice cock for charm work.”
“Your father, on the other hand, favoured a mahogany cock. Eleven inches. “

harry took the cock. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the cock above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

“Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed harry’s cock, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

The troll couldn’t feel harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and harry’s cock had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his cock out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his cock, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his cock at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

“Yes,” harry said, gripping his cock very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his cock

Then, with a sigh, he raised his cock and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

‘Get – off – me!’ harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised cock.

Concluzia: Harry Potter…serious business. Acum, are careva idee daca Harry Potter have a giant cock or not? Eu as tinde sa spun ca nu e prea mare but oh well…